So there I am , in the departure lounge of the airport with an internal debate going on "should I buy a copy of Hans Fallada's Alone in Berlin just before I set off for the place by myself, is that a pretentious thing to do?? Blah Blah blah . I think that perhaps this inane internal dialogue will become noticeable to other passengers waiting for a flight , I pull myself together and 20 minutes before the flight I buy a copy . So I now have the book and Bowie's Low and Heroes on my MP3 player but not Lou Reed's Berlin . I used to love that album but have not been able to listen to it in its entirety for a number of years now. I bought that album in my teens and listening to the album on headphones felt like I was living through those songs . Oddly I have only been able to listen to the Heroes album for only the last few years. Something about everyone I knew at the time who was into the album was into some kind of German/Berlin fantasy ...Cabaret ... Isherwood ,Brecht and the rest . Being an abandoned half German unable to speak my mothers tongue felt shameful ,sure I had my own German fantasies , that did include films like Cabaret and a decent knowledge of krautrock bands but it was always tinged with a sense of shame. That whole Bowie Reed Pop exploration was too painful for me to visit.
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